My computer is infected with spyware?

So my laptops personal settings are no longer there and instead of a cute picture of my daughter i have a big WARNING sign that says spyware detected on your computer. the in says to instal spyware remove ror anti virus. Then further down it says Warning! win32/Adware. virtumonde detected on your computer. Warning win32/privacyremover. m64 detected on your computer.

So we have tried adding an antivirus and it wont connect to the page to allow us to add it its like what ever is wrong with the computer,spyware, is blocking us from fixing it.
Please help before i loose my mind!
Everytime i try to downlad ANYTHINg i get a message saying its not a WIN32 application

“Warning! Win32/privacyremover.M64″ Error Alert
August 1st, 2008 | by Alex |
“Warning! Win32/privacyremover.M64” is a common error message that is generated by spyware. Most recently this error message is relating to a rogue antispyware called XP-Guard. The whole error message is as follows,

“WARNING! Spyware detected on your computer! Install an antivirus or spyware remover to clean your computer. Warning! Win32/Adware.Virtumonde Warning! Win32/privacyremover.M64.”

If you can get on internet explorer and then your blocked…..
try pressing control+N and see if you can work
from there and if you can, go to this on the link below….
this sometimes works by opening new IE….

http://www.bleepingcomputer.com/malware-removal/remove-xp-guard

Scroll to here….Automated Removal Instructions for XP-Guard using Malwarebytes’ Anti-Malware and follow the
simple instructions for Free removal which includes update.

If you cannot do the above ……use another comp to d/load
to a usb stick…cd…floppy…and transfer to the computer
that is infected and run the scan.

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